King of the Hill I Never Laughed That Hard Ever Again

Seasons: 2 2 2 2 ii seven 7 vii 7 7 11 11 11 | Main

King of the Hill (1997-2010) was an American blithe sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose caput is the always-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill.

due west: Airplane pilot (King of the Colina) Pilot [1.01] [edit]

Dale Gribble: I know what'south wrong with information technology. It's a Ford. You lot know what they say Ford stands for, don't ya? It stands for 'Fix it again, Tony'.

Hank Colina: You're thinking of a Fiat, Dale.

Dale Gribble: "Fix... it... again..."

Hank Hill: Whatcha listenin' to, son?

Bobby Hill: I don't think you'd similar it.

Hank Hill: Well, why non? I like this new generation of music. [puts headphones on]

Old adult female on tape: Hello?

[The tape erupts into sudden flatulence]

Hank Hill: [takes headphones off] Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this?

Bobby Loma: I bought it at the mall! It's the Funny Telephone Jerks!

Hank Colina: Let me tell you lot, Bobby, there'due south zippo "funny" nigh these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Now you lot get set up for the game, OK?

Bobby Hill: Yes, sir.

Hank Hill: [leaving Bobby'due south room] That male child own't correct.

The Hill family on the way to Bobby'due south baseball game.

Hank Hill: So, are you fix to boot some Wildcat butt, Bobby?

Bobby Hill: Okay.

Peggy Loma: Nah, don't you worry, son. You only practise your best.

Hank Hill: Don't heed to her, Bobby. If you wanna win, y'all're gonna have to do better than your best.

Bobby Hill: How do I do that?

Hank Hill: You gotta requite a hundred and x pct. That'due south what'll requite you that winnin' edge.

Bobby Hill: But what if the Wildcats requite a hundred and 10 percent, likewise?

Hank Hill: Well, then you gotta endeavor fifty-fifty harder.

Peggy Loma: How about if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent?

Hank Hill: Ahm ... sure, that'd piece of work.

Bobby Hill: Or maybe a hundred and 13?

Hank Colina: [Annoyed] Yeah, yeah, that's even better.

Peggy Loma: No, uh, I don't know. Xiii is a very unlucky number.

Hank Hill: Expect, we're not talking about thirteen. Nosotros're talking near a hundred and 13, and even ... uh ... okay, requite a hundred and twelve, what's the difference? Look, Bobby. Merely practice your best, okay?

Hank and Bobby at the Mega Lo Mart afterwards Bobby got a black center at his baseball game.

Hank Hill: Alibi me, where'south the hardware department?

Buckley: [Clueless] Where is the hardware department? Uhm, hm, what exactly is information technology you're looking for?

Hank Hill: The hardware department.

Buckley: Yeah, simply are you looking for like a tool or something?

Hank Hill: What deviation does it make?

Buckley: Huh, what difference does it brand?

Hank Hill: Okay, I'm lookin' for a tap-and-die and some WD-40.

Buckley: Huh, what is information technology that you're trying to do?

Hank Colina: [Losing patience] I'm tryin' to buy a tap-and-die and some WD-40 and get out of this God-forsaken store!

Buckley: Uh ... and what is a tap-and-die?

Hank Hill: Okay, forget information technology! Let'south say I desire a hammer. Exercise yous know what a hammer is? That's what I want, a damned hammer! At present where in the hell would I go?

Nearby Customer 1: Hey, that's that Hank Hill fella that lives on the block next to us.

Nearby Client 2: He sure has a temper, doesn't he?

Nearby Customer one: Sure does. Makes you lot wonder who gave his boy that black eye.

Bobby knocks over some cans swinging a cardboard roll around.

Buckley: You're gonna accept to pay for that, dude.

Hank Hill: [Shouting] YOU'RE FIRED!!

Hank is fixing his truck.

Hank Colina: [referring to the audio of Bobby throwing a baseball at the living room wall] Dammit! There it is again! Where is that thumpin' comin' from? It's drivin' me crazy!

Dale Gribble: Could be far-off helicopters... U.N. helicopters.

Hank Hill: Dale! What're you lot doin'? Give me some calorie-free! At present! I can't see! (Hank drops his wrench) Ow, my arm! (The hood closes) Ow, my head!

Dale runs off

A Child Protective Services worker interviews the family after a study for Bobby'southward black centre.

Anthony Folio: Mr. Hill, I experience that you're coming from an anger mindset, and if y'all're projecting this acrimony onto me, it gives me grave concerns as to how y'all facilitate your son's growth in private.

Hank Hill: Mister, I accept not begun to project my anger onto you!

Hank Colina: At present yous listen to me, mister. I work for a livin', and I mean existent work, not writin' down gobbledegook! I provide the people of this customs with propane and propane accessories. Oh, when I think of all my hard earned tax dollars goin' ta pay a agglomeration of lilliputian twig-boy bureaucrats like y'all, it just makes me wanna ... oh ... oh God ... information technology but ...

Peggy Hill: Hank?

Hank Loma: Honey, bring me my BC headache powder and a glass of h2o.

Peggy Hill: Alright, Hank.

Hank Loma: At present you listen here. Y'all encounter that boy? That's my boy! And if y'all ever try to accept him away, then assistance me God, I'll tear ya a new one bigger'n the Grand Canyon! Now I want you to go out of my firm, yer not welcome here! I mean at present, before I give y'all a black heart! Git!

Bill Dauterive Dale, are you certain you lot want to exist messin' with Hank'south truck when he'southward not effectually?

Dale Gribble: I'chiliad gonna help get him this alternator off. (Dale cuts a wire).

Bill: Ah, Dale, I think ya released the brake cable! Dale?

Dale: No, I didn't. (The truck crashes into the garage door). I gauge I'd amend get goin', ah, I got some edging to do. (Dale grabs his cap out of the engine and he, forth with Bill and Boomhauer, run back to their homes).

Hank Hill: How is cutting down on pollution a regime plot, Dale?

Dale Gribble: Open upwardly your optics, man. They're trying to control global warming. Go it? GLO-BAL.

Hank Hill: So what?

Dale Gribble: That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in our outdoors. I say allow the globe warm upward, see what Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks near that! Nosotros'll grow oranges in Alaska.

Hank Hill: Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It's already 110° in the summer, and if it gets ane degree hotter, I'm gonna boot your ass!

Hank Hill: Bobby, you can't make an omelette without breakin' eggs, and you can't become on base without takin' a swing.

Bobby Colina: The pitcher could walk me, couldn't he?

Hank Colina: Don't play lawyer-ball, son.

Boomhauer: [discussing Seinfeld] Run across that part where dang ol' George come in there, he talks 'bout tastin' his ain burp and Kramer comes slidin' in there simply like he ever does. I tell ya what, man, them dang ol' New York boys, merely a bear witness about nothin'.

Bobby is talking with Joseph

Bobby: (Mocking his dad) Git out my house! My boy ain't much, merely he's all I got!

Hank: (Hank is lying on the bed) Information technology'southward difficult, Peggy. I don't wanna lose my little male child. My merely son. But, oh, it'due south hard.

Peggy: Well, you can relax. The investigation has been off for a calendar week, only Bobby didn't tell us.

Hank: I'LL Kill HIM!!!!!

Peggy: Alright, at-home down, beloved. At present, let me explicate. He didn't practice it to be hateful, Bobby honestly doesn't think you dearest him all the fourth dimension.

Hank: That'south crazy, 'Course I love him.

Peggy: Very good. Now, say it to Bobby.

Hank: What are you talkin' about?

Peggy: I want you lot to tell Bobby that your love for him is unconditional.

Hank: Well, I can't say that. I tin can't! You lot know how I was raised! What my father's like!

Cotton: (shown in a flashback to Hank'south youth) I got my shins blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun, then don't come cryin' to me with your problems!

Peggy: Honey, I'm begging you. For the sake of this family unit, you accept got to practise it. He's waiting for y'all out on the porch.

Hank: Ah, jeez. Twig-boy coming over here... (Hank goes outside and talks to Bobby) Uh, you, uh, you lot're my son, uh, well, y'all know with everything uh, that entails, uh...

Bobby: Uh-huh.

Hank: Uh, huh, you lot know, uh, feelings of, uh, fondness, and more, uh, heh, uh, y'all know what I mean, don't you, boy?

Bobby: No.

Hank: Uhh, well uh, (Hank makes a weird sound) Huh, that'south a hell of a weird sound, I've never fabricated that before. Uh, I, you lot, uh, family unit. You're not making this easy on me, male child. (sighs) Okay, I love you no matter what you lot do. There, phew, let'south become go something to eat.

Bobby: I'm not, just a big thwarting to you?

Hank: Disappointment? No, y'all make me proud. I've been disappointed by but nearly everything else in this town, but you? Non once. Dammit, yous're my boy. Heh, you know amend than that. (Bobby laughing)

Anthony Page: He punched him! I, I knew it! I told them! Did-did you see that?

Bus Passenger: See what, twig-boy?

Anthony Page: (sighs) Never mind.

Square Peg [1.02] [edit]

Peggy is attempting to say the names of reproductive organs for a sexual education form.:

Peggy Hill: Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. VAAAGINA!

[Hank does a spit-have with his beer.]:

Peggy: Hey Hank, I just said...

Hank: I heard ya! The whole neighborhood tin hear you cussing!

Peggy: It'southward non cussing Hank, to say the name of a god-given torso part.

Hank: Well it is if information technology'due south the part of a body that was meant to be concealed by an undergarment. You're dealing with organs that people just don't want to know about.

Peggy: Well, Bobby ought to know about 'em. Nosotros don't desire him growing upward equally repressed as we did.

Hank: Sure nosotros practice. I'thou drawing the line here, Peggy. My son is non gonna learn this crazy crap! It says correct hither that he can't accept the class without permission from both his parents!

Peggy: Now, only agree on. Are you saying I'grand not good plenty to teach my own son?!

Hank: If you do not corroborate, you do not take to sign, and I do non corroborate. Permission denied!

Peggy: Now, Bobby, y'all may have noticed that in that location is a divergence between a man and a woman.

Bobby remains silent

Peggy: ...a rather obvious deviation.

Bobby remains silent for a few more moments

Bobby: You lot mean the penis?

Peggy, unsure of how to go along, stands up and walks out of the room totally mute.

[Dale is leaving a bulletin on the Hill'due south answering motorcar]

Dale Gribble: You don't know who I am, but I know where y'all live and you better cutting it out if y'all know what'south good for you lot. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00.

The Order of the Straight Arrow [i.03] [edit]

Hank Colina: [As a child] When I grow upwardly, I want to sell propane and propane accessories, if my grades are good plenty!

Bill: I'yard so depressed I can't even blink.

Hank Colina: We of the Order of the Straight Pointer call upon the spirit Wematanye, protector of the sacred ground that brings us cool water to drinkable and energy-efficient clean-called-for propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs. Wematanye says, respect the earth! She's ours, by God, our taxes pay for Her. Besides, it says here you lot gotta love all Her creatures. Allow's run across...oh, here we go: Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, yous're gonna recommend the states to the spirit in the sky, with liberty and justice for all. Wematanye is with y'all, and with Texas. Amen.

Hank's Got the Willies [ane.04] [edit]

Hank: Santa Claus is for babies!

Bill: [deplorable] You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!

Luanne's Saga [1.05] [edit]

Hank Loma: Your heart is telling you lot?! Who'south the boss, y'all or your heart? Yous are! Your centre is your employee! So get your eye off its butt and dorsum to work!

Hank's Unmentionable Problem [1.06] [edit]

Peggy is dreaming most Hank's funeral.

Bill Dauterive: He looks similar an angel. A dead angel.

Boomhauer: (crying) Why, man, dang ol' why, why?!

Dale Gribble: It should accept been Beak!

Peggy Hill: Oh, Hank. Nosotros never got a risk to talk about your problem. And now... we never will.

C. Everett Koop: Recall, early on detection is the key. Now pass in your algebra homework.

Cotton Hill: Goodbye, boy. See yous in HELL!

Cotton turns a toilet handle on Hank'due south headstone. Hank'due south coffin is sucked into the ground.

Nancy Gribble: (on Television set) The temperature is a pleasant 70 degrees. And on a more personal note, I'd like to wish my friend Hank Colina a quick recovery from his embarrassing consti-

Hank changes the channel.

C. Everett Koop: -pation.

Hank Hill: (While constipated and watching his domestic dog poo outside) Showoff.

Hank Hill:"Don't touch me. I'm on the John."

[final lines]

Hank Hill: You might take noticed in tonight'due south episode, in that location is some brief nudity. At present, every bit an actor, I just exercise nudity when I experience the script warrants it. And I thought this evening's episode only warranted seeing the side of my rump. You tin believe me when I tell yous the Play a joke on executives were pushing for a whole lot more. If any of you were offended past my trunk, I'g truly sorry. Good night.

Westie Side Story [1.07] [edit]

Hank Hill: What the hell kind of country is this where I tin just detest a homo if he'due south white?

Peggy Hill: Do y'all... do you think my feet are besides big, Hank?

Hank Hill: No, hon. Just... more of yous to love.

[He takes a footstep frontwards towards her, like an on-screen embrace]

Peggy Loma: Ow.

[Hanks looks down to see he's stepping on Peggy's feet]

Hank Hill: Oh, pitiful.

Minh Souphanousinphone: Kahn, delight. For in one case try non to piss off neighbor. We kicked out of Laos, we kicked out of Anaheim... I tired of running.

Hank meets Kahn for the first time.

Hank Hill: And then are yous Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: I alive in California concluding twenty year, but, ah... commencement come from Laos.

Hank Hill: Huh?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Laos. We Laotian.

Bill Dauterive: The ocean? What ocean?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Nosotros are Laotian--from Lao people's democratic republic, stupid! It's a landlocked country in southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, OK? Population four.7 million.

Hank ponders this for a few seconds.

Hank Hill: So are y'all Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: [groans]

Hank Hill: He thinks merely 'cause I'grand from Texas that means I'thou a redneck. Chinese people and their stupid stereotypes!

Hank Hill: Please, Kahn. You're burning them! That's too much char.

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Shut oral fissure and open up mouth.

Dale Gribble: They'll probably get you with a blow-dart; that'south their way. But y'all'll only think its a musquito bite until you die, then you'll know the truth.

Kahn Souphanousinphone:: I could but stay home, gild a bucket of chicken and sentry Hee Haw; aforementioned thing [as going to the Hills' for dinner].

Hank Hill: You know Kahn, we may deny our kids completely different deserts, but they both go to bed hungry, and that's what really matters.

[last lines]

Minh Souphanousinphone: Rabbit, y'all rednecks will consume anything!

Shins of the Father [i.08] [edit]

Cotton discovers that Bobby began a sexist riot at his school.

Cotton Loma: Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Get alee pick yourself out a live i.

Hank cheers Cotton wool for bringing a horse ("Oh Dad, y'all didn't have to exercise this.")

Cotton Colina: Well, you lot know me-- I'one thousand larger than life.

Cotton tells the story of how he was injured in WWII: "I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed upwardly. We had shell the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could simply save 3 of my buddies: Fat, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the dominicus came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. And so things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was total of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! Then I rushed 'em, simply it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Terminal thing I retrieve, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field infirmary, and they were sewing my feet to my knees."

Bobby Hill: [Speaking to Joseph about Connie]: Oow. She'southward moody. Must exist PBS.

Cotton Hill: [to Luanne] You lot volition never know if you are bonny. Information technology'south upward to a human being to tell you that. You go along eating, and I'll tell you when to stop.

[Cotton slaps Luanne'due south rear end]

Luanne: Touch me over again, and you'll be wearing that cornpone, former human.

Cotton Hill: Hoo-wee! Fiesty!

Peggy the Bungle Champ [1.09] [edit]

Hank Hill: Dallas? I don't want you lot going to Dallas at all! That identify is crawling with scissure heads and debutantes. And half of them play for the Cowboys.

Hank Hill: Now you heed to me! THE Proper noun IS HANK Loma! MR. HANK Loma! PEGGY MARRIED ME! I DIDN'T Marry HER! What are you looking at?!

Peggy Hill: [crying] I am and so stupid!

Hank Hill: Aw, you're non stupid. Heck, you're smarter than me.

Peggy Hill: Oh, big bargain!

Hank Hill: Well, yous're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.

Peggy Hill: Well, whoop-dee-practice! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbillytown!

Hank Hill: I-I'm trying Peggy. I just... hey, yous know, Coachs used to say something that would burn down usa up when nosotros were behind.

Peggy Hill: Yeah, what?

Hank Hill: LOSER! You'RE A LOSER! ARE YOU FEELING Pitiful FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD Be Crusade YOU ARE Clay! YOU MAKE ME Ill YOU BIG BABY! Baby Want A BOTTLE?! A BIG Dirt BOTTLE?!

Peggy Colina: [crying harder] Why are you yelling at me?

Hank Hill: Uh, well, I'm trying to be your coach. I... Information technology's... It's inspiring.

Peggy Hill: Well, cheers, cause I feel worse than ever.

Hank Hill: Well, it worked for the team.

Peggy Hill: No, It didn't. Y'all went to Country and lost.

Hank Colina: Ah, jeez. I think I need one of those $8 beers.

[Minh has just lost $13 to Peggy playing Bungle.]

Minh Souphanousinphone:: Thanks for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill. Perhaps next weekend I teach you mahjong. Bring your checkbook!

[Boomhauer is playing a mowing stimulator game.]

Boomhauer: Man that dang 'ol slice of crap dang 'ol blocked upwardly. Chiliad-become grass out there that-- [realizes his fingers take been chopped off in the game] AHH! I GOT NO FINGERS!

Keeping Upwards With Our Joneses [i.10] [edit]

Hank Hill: Is this John occupied? Esta es Juan occupado?

Bobby Colina: Sí.

Hank Loma: Bobby?

[He rips the public bath door open to see Bobby and Joseph smoking a cigarette. Everyone is in shock]

Dale Gribble: Joseph, I empathise you smoked your first cigarette today.

Joseph Gribble: Dad, I'm sorry! I'll never smoke again.

Dale Gribble: Whoa, concord on, son! I want you to keep an open mind so you tin make an informed conclusion. If y'all want, you can read a bloated regime report on smoking or go straight to the equus caballus's oral fissure and become the facts from the tobacco manufacture!

Hank Hill: For God's sakes, Bobby, what nationality are you?

Bobby Hill: American.

Hank Hill: Then why are you holding your cigarette like some kind of European Nazi in a film?

Bobby Colina: Why does it thing?

Hank Hill: That's non the correct sort of attitude for yous to have. Whatsoever you do, yous should practice correct, fifty-fifty if it'southward something wrong.

Hank Colina: Uh, I got to go do some stuff. I call back I might have left the blender on.

Peggy Hill: [to Bobby] But trailer trash fume nowadays. Do you lot wanna look like trailer trash?

Luanne Platter: [crying] That'south not fair! I don't fume! [she runs away in tears]

Peggy Colina: Oh, honey, yous are not trash just 'crusade you grew upward in a trailer and your mama's in prison house.

Peggy Hill: Uh, Hank, there is a "tile" in the bathroom that I retrieve nosotros missed.

Hank Colina: Really? Well, I better check that out.

[Hank goes into the bathroom, sees a cigarette, smokes a few puffs, so returns to the kitchen]

Hank Colina: Heh-heh-heh. Well, I found the "tile" — thanks very much, Peggy — and I looked at it but there's still some more "tile" for you to await at.

Peggy Hill: You know, I retrieve I volition save the residual of my "tile" for after breakfast.

Bobby Colina: Volition you end talking well-nigh your stupid tile?! If it's and so dirty go make clean information technology, and if it'south make clean y'all can shut up!!

[He stubs out his breakfast sausage equally if it were a cigarette and leaves the tabular array]

Hank Hill: [at a common cold turkey support grouping meeting, glaring at the counselor] I got the strangest feeling someone's gonna kicking his donkey.

Boot the Butt Club Counselor: Hey, there, why don't yous tell usa your name and how long you've been smoking.

Hank Hill: Uh, I'd rather non.

Boot the Barrel Club Counselor: I sympathize. It'south non easy to admit we're weak.

Hank Hill: You're calling me weak?!? Wait at your little birdy artillery, they're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms!

Boot the Butt Society Counselor: Is this your son? Information technology's beautiful how y'all came out to support your daddy.

Bobby Hill: I'm a smoker, too.

Everyone gasps.

Kick the Butt Club Counselor: Oh, no. How long have y'all been addicted to cigarettes?

Bobby Colina: Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton.

Hank Hill: Wait a minute, I didn't permit him, I made him. Information technology was a punishment.

[Anybody murmurs in anger, disgusted with Hank]

Neb Dautrieve: Can I get a new buddy?

Audience fellow member: What is wrong with him?

Kick the Butt Guild Advisor: You lot are sick, sir! You shouldn't be immune to have children!

Hank Loma: At present concord on a minute here. I didn't bring my family here to be yelled at. I don't think I like this club. You all whine too much, and the coffee'south bad. I'll tell you what yous need to practice. You lot need to take a thirteenth step... downwardly off your high horse!

Luanne Platter: Here's to three of the bravest individuals in all of Arlen. To the Hills and their tobacco-gratuitous time to come!

Hank Hill: My God, are you nonetheless talking?!

Bobby Hill: Why'due south my potato got skin on it? I hate skin!

Peggy Hill: I volition non sit here and accept my work insulted! What, practice you think the potatoes just fly into the basin and brew themselves?!!

Luanne Platter: I know y'all don't hateful none of those harsh words. It'south just the nicotine withdrawal.

Hank Hill: Why is she yet talking?!!

Luanne Platter: [after finding Peggy hiding in the closet with a cigarette] I establish her.

Peggy Hill: Shut the damn door!! Tin can't yous see that I am knitting!!

Bobby Hill: Mom. Hand over the cigarette!

Peggy Colina: Nooooo!

Bobby Hill: Mom this is not your son, this is your buddy!

Peggy Loma: NOOOOO!!

Bobby Hill: Hand it over!!

Luanne Platter: [locking the family in the chamber] I'm crating ya'll in similar an unruly domestic dog. I am sick of dysfunctional families. I came from one, and I am non gonna let it happen to you. Role!! Office damn you!!!

Peggy Colina: Okay. Women and children outset. I accept the first puff, Bobby here get'south the 2d, if there's anything left...you lot.

Hank Hill: Who are you lot trying to kid? We all know in that location won't be anything left. Lets you and me split it Peg! It'll be romantic! You lot know like the one-time days, earlier he came forth!

Bobby Hill: Momma. Information technology'southward your son. Nine months inside remember? Those were practiced times too!

Peggy Loma: I don't know. Now this is just happening as well fast, I only don't know.

Hank Hill: Well I do! Come on Bobby, yous and I can take her! You go loftier, I'll go depression!

Peggy Hill: Well, expect at usa. At each other's throats. And after all we've been through. This family has survived fires and twisters and every strain of flu the Orient could throw at us. Well, we are not going to be done in by a lousy tobacco leaf. We're gonna arrive. Together.

Male monarch of the Ant Colina [i.11] [edit]

(Note: the following quote comes from a deleted scene)

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Put on shoes, hillbilly!

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Where I come from nosotros got this matter chosen karma. You do something bad, it come back and bite yous in the ass! Big, white, stubborn ass!

Bobby Hill: (Hypnotized by the Queen)...YES... ...MY... ...QUEEN...

Hank Hill: (on his mower, talking to an anthill) Put your caput between your half-dozen legs and osculation your barrel good-goodbye! (runs over the anthill)

[Dale had just destroyed Hank's backyard. Dale passes by Hank's backyard while Peggy is talking to Hank.]

Hank Hill: [Subsequently just noticing Dale] DALE!

[Dale yells and hurries to his van.]

Hank Hill: Dale, you went as well far this time! Come back here![Starts chasing Dale] Come here! I'g gonna kick your donkey!

Dale Gribble: No! NO!

Hank Hill: I'thou gonna kick it harder if you don't come up over here!

Dale Gribble: [desperate] Y'all shouldn't have fired me! You know what I'm similar! I'm capable of any crazy thing!

Hank Hill: But my lawn, Dale! You don't mess with a man's Lawn!

Dale Gribble: I had no choice! I tried planting the ants in your driveway, but they didn't have! They couldn't bite through cement! They're weak, like me! [Wheezes]

(Said to Dale Gribble after he mistakenly thought Dale had died from a poisonous ant attack)

Hank Hill: Y'all gave your life to save my son. I guess that makes united states of america even for you ruinin' my lawn. What am I saying? Of course, it makes united states even!

Plastic White Female person [1.12] [edit]

Bobby:(Talking to a mannequin head) "You look really special tonight."

Peggy on what their course of action after catching Bobby kissing the mannequin caput

Peggy: We'll motion to Berlin. Bobby will exist accepted there. I read somewhere that Germans are a very tolerant people. Their culture admires all kinds of freaks.

Peggy Hill: I know it is not my fault. If anything, this is your fault. You made him become to that camp with no toilet doors.

Hank Hill: Don't point your finger at me, woman. You're the one who parks him in front of the Television receiver and makes him watch all them Muppets. They got frogs kissing pigs, what the hell did they retrieve was going to happen?

The salsa music playing during Bobby's 'seduction' of the plastic caput is Discarga Criolla by Ray Barreto.

Hank Hill: (Seeing Bobby freeing the mannequin head in the cabinets) Well that merely tears information technology! I accept tried to be patient, but now it'south time for a little tough love! (snatches the mannequin head away from Bobby)

External links [edit]

andersonwilvear.blogspot.com

Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/King_of_the_Hill_(season_1)